The First Piece: My Return to Wonderland (May Facilitate Resentment Towards Blog)

This year so far, has been one of many things. Many good things and many bad things. Every day to come is another day in the countdown. Just another day that separates me from “the life.” Actually, the only exception is Thanksgiving. That day I get to stuff my stomach fill of food, watch football, and sleep (what a mighty fine day that will be). Each day until then represents a grain in an hour glass. When the time comes, I will be basking in delight. I can imagine it right now as I am writing; I feel sort of dazed. Anyway, on the day of December 23rd, I will be sipping strawberry daiquiris on the warm beaches of Isla Mujeres, Mexico.

Isla Mujeres is a wonderful place. One of the features that I like the most is the fact that it hasn’t been “Americanized.” This small island is located off the coast of Cancun. There are no McDonalds anywhere to be found. English is merely a second language. The beaches are relatively empty. The chance to escape the drudging of everyday life doesn’t come that often. Isla Mujeres is a terrific place to relax and enjoy a world that isn’t tainted by commercialism and stupid tourists.

Once I set foot onto the pavement of the airport, I will immediately disconnect myself from the outside world. I will spend my days on the beach and afternoons around the island. My nights will be dedicated to eating and playing monopoly. I do not care what the plans are for the first or second days because I will be napping on the beach. If anybody decides to awaken me from my slumber there will be mutiny. From the other individuals that will be joining me on this lazy adventure very much agree with that statement. I will be staying in this paradise until January 1st. I assure you that when I return from this fantastic voyage, I will be at least two shades darker than most of you who will be reading this.

As I am envisioning what is to come, it brings back memories from my last visit. I had so much fun! I ate so much great food, with really only one exception. This unfortunate establishment served the worst lobster I have ever had in my entire life. The name of the restaurant was the Nabalan –

This wasn’t in the original draft, but please excuse me if you are associated with the Nabalan and are currently reading this: 1.) Please don’t try to sue me for defamation. 2.) You cannot sue me for defamation because I am protected under the first amendment. Also, I’m not sure what the laws are in Mexico, but I do not wish to be extradited for some silly lawsuit. This is just my opinion; other people may think that the Nabalan does have good food. I do not, the food tasted like shit.

The food tasted like fertilizer –

Coincidentally, I stated that the food tasted like ‘shit,’ and then I went on to say that the food tasted like ‘fertilizer.’ How funny because traditional fertilizer is made from manure, or animal shit. I just thought I would point that out. And this is not part of the original draft either.

I think the chefs should be arrested and charged with ‘intent to kill.’ Other than that, my stomach had a rather enjoyable experience. Another great experience was the week long monopoly game. That was a terrific game. One high/low point was the inflatable Christmas tree –

I do not offer an apology for the use of the word ‘Christmas’ and the connotation to the holiday that it is. If you are offended by this, then you have no soul.

That was a heck of a thing to have to blow up. I nearly passed out trying to do it. It was worth it though because what would Christmas be without a Christmas tree? Another great feat was the massive sand castle town I made with my cousins. It was detailed and huge. We captured it all on video. I would dearly love to see that video some time. It captured so many memories. There was this one scene in the Cancun airport. As you walk down to customs, you have to go down these escalators into this huge room. It was jam packed with people and the escalators were broken. All of a sudden, the escalators started working and all of these people were being piled on top of one another. I watched this from the balcony above. It looked like lemmings. Anyway, the trip was excellent.

My expectations for this trip are very high. I truly believe this trip will liberate me from the grind of everyday life. You might even say that this trip will keep me from going insane. Without this trip, only god knows what kind of state I’ll be in. I would most likely occupying the rubber room taking 26 pills a day going to group therapy where all they do is talk about what your favorite color is –

That is such a run-on sentence. I apologize. I’m not really editing anything because I would pretty much be changing everything. Pardon the interruption. Again…

I don not want to end up like the guy who eats kitty litter and surprised that it is crunchy. I do not want to wake up in the middle of the night sweating only to realize I was dreaming and then actually wake up sweating. Anyway, my point is, not only do I want to go on this trip – I NEED THIS TRIP! I can also say that I am very fortunate to be able to go on this trip. It shall be a joyous event! Fire works will be going of upon touchdown of my plane in Mexico. Somewhere, a choir will be singing the hallelujah chorus! When you hear about this journey, it will be a new year. The year of 2006 will be another calendar and another year to remember. When I get back it will be a new time, another year in the century, but most importantly, another year until Christmas.